Listen to your heart

(re-blogged from my lovely friend Rhéa)

Look to the stars...

On the theme of living adventurously...

Our journey with hospice

As I sit by my dad's side watching him pass through the final stages of life as we know it, in the physical sense, I have found comfort in words, music, art and laughter. I don't know how I'm supposed to act, what I'm supposed to do for my dad or what to expect. There's no How-To book for patients and loved ones going through hospice. I can only hope my dad is comfortable and that his spirit is at peace. And, I hope I have the strength to handle it all. I'm sharing some of those things which are bringing me comfort during this difficult time in the hopes that they bring comfort to someone else out there in this cyber world.

A butterfly lights beside us, like a sunbeam...
and for a brief moment its glory
and beauty belong to our world...
but then it flies on again, and although
we wish it could have stayed,
we are so thankful to have seen it at all.
-Author Unknown

(photo taken outside of my home this fall)

Two little moths joined us shortly after my dad started letting go. They have remained near my dad almost as if they're watching down on him, making sure he's ok. Are they spirits? Are they my grandparents, ensuring my dad's spirit is safe? I don't know but I find them extremely comforting.

The following quote has been surfacing a lot recently as my mom and I face the inevitable passing of my dad. He was such a fan of Gibran and I know that's why this quote found me recently. I find it very comforting as I realize we should never place sadness on something which made/makes us happy. Instead, we should feel so very grateful for that happiness and the memory of it should continue to make us happy :)

In love with LIFE!

I stumbled across this image tonight. I posted it to Facebook a year ago. What a great nugget of goodness. I'm grateful for re-discovering it. It really sums up my life right now, this dream I feel like I've been in for about the past 5 months. It deserves its own blog, the reason for my elation and feeling of overwhelming love. This person, our relationship, has so filled me up that I'm just spilling over with gratitude. I've wanted to blog about it for sometime now but want to be sure my words perfectly sum up what I'm feeling. I fear words can't possibly describe it. In the meantime, I'll share another reason I love life and love LOVE itself. If you're in need of a reason to love life, maybe this will help!

Check out or check back in with music. It's my go-to cure-all, my religion you could say. It's where I find all of the answers or find the ability to discover them within myself. Find something that sends shivers up your spine, makes you jump and dance, makes you cry or propels you to call an old friend and tell them how much you miss them. Can't think of anything? Take a listen to the song below. AMAZING! Just makes you want to stand up and say HALLELUJAH, thank you, I love you, I am grateful! The lyrics are filled with such pain, struggle and desperation, and the music just rips you open, tears open your heart. I can never get over the fact that music can have this effect: exposing such raw emotion yet be so uplifting in the same verse - such a paradox. I heard this song tonight, performed by another great singer on Glee and was in tears about 30 seconds into it. I don't know why I was crying. I think I was initially crying because you just can't escape the sorrow the singer is portraying. It draws you in. But then as the song progressed, I was also crying because I was so happy to be connecting with a song so deeply, so immediately. I'm so grateful that my mind and my heart are always open to this and that I'm able to feel so strongly and connect instantly with music and performers. I love the unexpectedness of artistic impression. You never know when something will strike you - wake you up from your monotonous daily grind, rattle your emotions to the surface and force you to get real with yourself. As the song builds, the choir enters, a symbol of rejoicing and a pillar of spiritual strength. Gospel choirs always evoke a sense of comfort and triumph, like everything is going to be ok when I hear them. Triumph for the singer and for the listener. The singer and the choir in this song are like love - the juxtaposition of opposing emotions. Love can make you sad, afraid, and confused yet it has the ability to bring you more joy, light, and comfort than anything in the world. And what would life be without love, even with the fear of losing it? This is something I've been deeply struggling with recently. I think I've been subconsciously trying to understand it for years but recent events have really brought it to the surface. And, I'm grateful for the ability to work through it and learn to accept the paradox. And, I'm grateful to have this outlet to admit it! And with that, experiencing this song tonight reminded me how music can so beautifully mirror life and love. And how powerful love can be. Chilling. Scary. Painful. But what's better than love? As I said, I often find the answers in music and maybe now I'm one step closer to working through and accepting the ying and yang of love.

I couldn't decide on which version of this song to share as they're both breathtaking. You decide!

Aretha's version (the original):



Patti's version:



After listening to the pain of these lyrics, I'm so grateful I have someone who lets me love them!

Faithful Atheist

You may wonder, why would an atheist post a quote referencing the Creator, a.k.a "God." I read this quote this morning on Mastin Kipp's insightful and inspiring blog, The Daily Love. Although a bad habit to reach for my Blackberry as soon as I awake and focus my eyes, I look forward to scanning through the junk emails, searching for Mastin's cheery daily dose of lovely affirmations, words of wisdom, tools for self-improvement and general feel-good, positive energy. It's a fabulous way to start your day. I highly recommend you check it out! When I read this quote, I was struck by it. A fan of Emerson since I read Thoreau's Walden Pond in grammar school and subsequently became intrigued with transcendentalism, the quote made me pause. To be honest, when I see God referenced, I usually scan the text, dismissing it. I'm a bit ashamed to admit that and look forward to reversing that reaction in the future. As I stared at that intimidating word CREATOR, I began to see it differently, accepting it, in a way. I also thought, Emerson could have said GOD and didn't. Why? Could he have meant Creator in a different way? Could I see it differently and interpret this quote differently? Could I enjoy it, learn from it and be inspired by it without attaching a religious meaning to it and "Creator"? Of course I can! What a silly, unnecessary question. And what a relief. Thank God.

Lately I've really been struggling with the idea of Faith. It's not something that comes naturally for a myriad of reasons, the most obvious I attribute to being raised without religion. I'm thoroughly content with my lack of religious upbringing (which does NOT mean lack of religious education) but realize that I'm a bit more challenged now to understand, accept and practice having Faith. Without it, I think we would all go mad so I'll continue trying to wrap my head around it. In addition to reminding me about the importance of Faith, Emerson reminded me today that because of all the beauty I have seen, that there is so much more to see. That was so inspiring! I admittedly get down once in awhile, often feeling like I'm stuck and with all of the negativity and ugliness in the world, the beautiful moments that so lifted me in the past, are dwindling. It upsets me more that these negative thoughts creep in more often than I'd like. It's not just about telling yourself to be positive, brushing yourself off, or looking at the other side of the coin - it's about having Faith in the past, present and future. If things were beautiful and awe-inspiring in the past, you will absolutely experience that again. Having Faith in the present you, the present moment ensures that. And how exciting that there is so much more than we can imagine out there to see and experience? Even as I re-read this post for errors and additions, I realize that this quote has more meaning than what initially thought and have tried to describe. I'm happy that I stumbled across it and will continue finding meaning within it.

I am in gratitude today to Emerson and Mastin. I appreciate this friendly and uplifting reminder to have Faith, continue seeking that next inspiring moment and be open to those unsuspected moments of wisdom. They may come in a different package than what you're usually expecting. It may look and feel unfamiliar or even make you fearful. Push into that discomfort. That's where you're really discover the magic.

I chose the image above as it reflects the first thing I thought of when I read it. You may recognize the wondrous beauty of Yellowstone National Park. My family has two photos of us standing practically in this same spot with that amazingly unforgettable view behind us; one snapped in 1990 and the other around 1995. I will cherish those tattered photos forever but the memories are burned into my memory. And I look forward to more adventures in that most precious national treasure.

And, as George Michael preaches, "You gotta have Faith!"



I hope this blog post, Emerson's quote, Mastin's blog, or even George Michael's gyrations inspires you today!

Hello 2011, Goodbye "Should"

Despite my usual cheery, positive nature, I'm actually not a big fan of New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. I'm usually rather depressed, in deep thought trying to digest the prior 365 days, determine what I learned, quickly itemize everything I should've done, what I should've done better, and project an insurmountable list of what I should do, and should do better in the New Year. To do this all in one day is daunting and overwhelming, to say the least! No wonder I'm usually depressed, withdrawn and grumpy. This year, as the inevitable approached, I started to sink into old habits and feel that knot in my stomach. Instead of getting sucked into this routine of self-loathing and setting unrealistic goals, I went to the gym and had a kick-ass workout, cooked a great meal for my parents and reflected upon the past year with gratitude. I actually found Facebook as a neat way to do this! Using one of their apps, I re-read all of my status updates of which about 50% contained Words of Wisdom, Quotes of the Day and Daily Affirmations. I realized that these really reflected my year, my new path, my new mindset, and my new practices. It jolted me back on path. I've been feeling a little lost - not necessarily in a bad way - these past few weeks. Re-reading all of these nuggets of hope, optimism, affirmation, love, acceptance and kindness warmed me inside and out. I suddenly didn't feel so lost. So, I gathered them all up and decided to do a different kind of itemization this year. Here they are all in one place! And instead of making a list of "shoulds" for the New Year, or resolutions, I decided upon just two:

1) Eliminate should/should've from my vocabulary.
2) Continue searching for and sharing these lovely words of inspiration. Don't lose sight of their insight and potential for healing - mind, body and soul.

I hope you find meaning in some or all of them as much as I have. Health and happiness to you in this most exciting New Year. And I hope you're still feeling the incredible Love and Light bestowed upon us from the significant Lunar Eclipse which occurred on the Winter Solstice just a few weeks ago.



"I stress freshness because it implies seeing with new eyes, tasting with beginner’s buds, hearing like you’ve never heard, and loving like you’ve never been hurt… You can put that in my Biography.” Jason Mraz

"Come on and open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you’re free
Look into your heart and you’ll find that the sky is yours.” Jason Mraz

Today, I approach relationships and interactions with quiet confidence and an optimistic outlook. I recognize that everything is connected and everything matters. I allow myself to experience joy in each moment of this day.

I am grateful for what I have. I am always focused in the present moment where I have everything wonderful I desire. I am filled with gratitude.

Today, I find answers and inspiration everywhere. I live my life filled with vitality and aliveness.

“What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us.” Oliver Wendell Holmes

Inspiration, joy, and right decisions are established in my consciousness, and I move through this day with the complete assurance that all is well.

I am at peace and I embrace all in life in peace.

Today I take all my unhappy memories out of my body and place them in a basket. My pain, anger, fear and my resentments are placed in this basket. I have an angel that takes this basket of unhappiness from my hands and flies to the outer reaches of the universe and transforms it in loving energy that will revisit me later today. I forgive and seek to be in a state of continual forgiveness.

"I will continue to be grateful for my 'life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness'." (me)

I am present, in the moment, in the now.

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams.” Paulo Coelho

“I’m standing in my truth and letting my light shine through.” (me)

“Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dreams. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success.” Lao Tzu

“It doesn’t cost anything to be honest, loyal and true.” The Avett Brothers

“And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin

“I am an architect of my present, not an artifact of my past.”

“Within you is all the Light you need to illuminate the darkness around you.” The Daily Love

“Music is for dancing – for penetrating your subconscious and having sex with your soul. Music should leave you feeling satisfied and fully, like you’ve just had a big meal and need to take a nap. Or a crap.” Jason Mraz

May you always have love to share,
Health to spare,
And friends that care.

“The difference between school and life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.” Tom Bodet

Yesterday is gone, tomorrow has not arrived, and I live in an eternal present filled with an everlasting good. Today is big with hope fulfilled, with love and life well lived. Tomorrow will provide its own blessings.

"I light up the world around me with a smile on my face. I glow with happiness from the inside out."

“Those who live in the past limit their futures”. Yogi tea bag

"I breathe in gratitude and breathe out love." (me)

"I am inspired. I am inspiring." (me)

“We have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak.” Epictetus

I will be conscious of the thoughts I put in me.

“If it’s dark around you, remember the Light within.” The Daily Love

Turn your face to the sun and the shadows will fall behind you.” Life is Good

“As I start my day with a happy heart, my outlook is brighter, my walk is lighter, and my voice is sweeter. Love lights the way before me. My happy heart releases all tension, and I am at ease and at peace in mind and body.” Daily Word