getting over being under

In the midst of writing a new chapter in my life, turning down another road on my professional path, I've been pondering this past year. I've experienced some of the deepest, darkest lows while also some of the most amazing, inspiring highs in my 30 years. Through it, I truly feel enlightened with a renewed sense of clarity, internal calm and zest for life. While I feel that my direction has come into focus, I also feel less urgency to get there. A cliche comes to mind: it's about the journey, not the destination. It's really a metaphor for life, whether you're religious or not. None of us really know what's at the end of this life. Though we may disagree as to what's in store for us, I think everyone is united in the best way to get there. My journey to today, so far, has been filled with love, joy and laughter as well as some less-than-happy feelings. However, it all got me to today. I can say with confidence that I'm happy with today and who I am in this moment. So as I travel down another road of discovery, new friends, new places and undoubtable growth, I find it only fitting that I reflect on my most recent journey which brings me to the title of this post.

Getting over it. I got over so much this past year: myself, others, pre-conceived notions, setting deadlines for things that are out of my control and I'm sure much more that I just can't recall at the moment. While I was forced to get over it after abruptly losing a job I loved, I'm grateful for the self-evaluation that ensued, the time to sort myself out, the ability to stregthen relationships with friends, family, music and myself. This past year I was "under" employed, a term I had never heard before, and one, quite frankly, I believe was generated by the media as a reaction to the recession. Un- or under- employed, it still sucks. Saying you're underemployed is still humiliating. Fortunately for me, I was one of many, so I was part of one big pity party.

If you've never lost your job, whether fired or "let go", I can tell you, it's a jolt like you've never experienced. You'll take it personally. You'll cry. You'll be angry. You'll grieve. But you'll also become incredibly strong. Actually, you'll find your inner strength, pick yourself back up and figure out how to deal. Of course there are mundane details to sort out like unemployment, health benefits, job searching and the like. But really, what you're figuring out is who you really are. What matters to you? Who matters? What is going to be your next step? You can either become overwhelmed by these heavy-hitting questions or jump in head first and keep swimming until you find your island. Admittedly, I started drowning a few times, had to rely on some life-savers along my voyage but eventually I found my island and now I'm basking in the sun, so grateful for the swim.

So here's what I learned, in no order of importance, cebral & silly, all-in-one:

-Water is a true healer. drink lots of it. visit the ocean. listen to the rain. you'll feel better. i promise.

-Family are the legs to your table, until you can stand on your own legs again. don't be ashamed to ask them for help, whether it's a hug or a hundred bucks. they WILL help you.

-Friends will cure you. lean on them, cry on them, laugh with them and spend as much time with them as you can. they'll celebrate your joys and help you beat the blues. you'll find friends in the strangest places while you're finding your way. let them in and embrace what you may learn from them. however, you will also lose some friends, either by your choice or theirs. some people just can't handle the tough times. it's ok, maybe they'll be back. hopefully they won't. you don't need them.

-Farmville is extremely relaxing. even though i'm not a fan of video games, i've become a farmville addict.

-Music should be classified as a religion. it's mine. without it i think i'd still be swimming, or possibly drowning. thank the music gods for jason mraz this year. his music, his outlook and teachings of gratitude and health really pulled me through the last leg of my journey. i'm amazed that despite my own personal troubles, i was still able to connect with music, allow it to enter my soul, fill me with joy and comfort me.

-Public libraries rock. they're free, they're cool in the summer and they're filled with many answers. if you don't already have a library card, get one and check out your local bibioteca today. make a list of things you'd like to learn about and hit the books. like music, i'm grateful for some good reads. i'll admit it, the twilight saga definitley distracted me during my june blues after my pet died.... which brings me to the next one...

-Animals teach you things that no one else will. they love you unconditionally and appreciate anything you do for them. i volunteered as much as i could with my local SPCA this past year thinking i'd "give back". boy was i wrong. i was the one who received. if you don't already volunteer in your community, you should start. do so right after you get that library card.

-Taking time for your Mind, Body and Spirit daily is a must (after you've applied for those jobs, volunteered and checked out the library). exercise as much as you can, not just for the obvious health benefits but for the confidence you'll gain and power you'll feel. the endorphin rush does amazing things for your shattered emotions. take this endless time on your hands to explore nature while exercising. biking, nature walks, geocaching all worked for me. if you do join a gym, become friends with the trainers and fellow gym mates. i even had a "gym crush". just knowing he would be at the gym, kept me motivated :) i also practiced yoga and enjoyed monthly massage treatment. hint: ask for spa gift certificates for every holiday. spa visits accomplish mind, body and spirit.

-See everything you'll do as an Adventure. adjusting your outlook in this way really makes a difference.

-Practice Gratitude. i know it's tough to think of what you're grateful for when it seems like your world has been turned upside down but there's always something to be grateful for. i have a few things to get you started: that nifty library card, hugs from friends, wet noses on your hand from the dogs you've walked, time to do what you please and the opportunity to really think about what you want to be doing from 9-5 and making it happen. If it helps, use this online journal/gratitude community: gratitudelog.com

-Humility will go out the window. get over it. ask people for help. dig out those old contact lists and start calling. attend networking events. ask for recommendations/endorsements. offer to work part-time or even for free if it will get your mind going, get some cash in your pocket or boost your resume.

-Be open. open to meeting new people, feeling new feelings, moving to a new place, veering off your career "path" and letting go. just let go.

-You don't need caffeine, alcohol or processed foods to get through the day. start exploring a new "diet". start eating only foods that provide absolute nutritional benefits. if it isn't going to fuel you, you shouldn't be eating it. buy organic and/or local whenever possible. i don't need to explain why, just wanted to remind you.

-Being Green is better than blue. find ways to make green and be green. you'll feel so good. eating meat isn't being green, even if you eat a frog.

-If you put your True Self out there, you'll be happier with what you get back. if you're not getting immediate benefits, re-evaluate whether you're really being honest with those around you.

-Goodbye parties are like funerals. those who show up to bid you farewell or congratulate you on your new endeavor are all that really mattered and matter. you'll be surprised who shows up (and who doesn't). be grateful who had the courage and heart to show up. And know that you're not saying, "goodbye" to friends or experiences, you're saying, "see you later".

To say I'm not nervous about this new trip would be a lie. I hope that the failures of my past prove to be lessons to carry me through. I go forward confidently but cautiously. I'm going to meet interesting people and learn so much. I don't mind swimming but I'm tired. I'd like to bask in the sun for awhile.